When you’re young and starry eyed about the future, it’s easy to draw up a checklist of the stellar qualities you’re looking for in a future forever partner. He should be smart, hot, romantic, with a full head of hair, hopefully rich or she should be a beauty with an hour glass figure and legs that go on forever. However it is a terrible mistake to think that your values at age 21 are still your values at forty plus when you are single dating
After sitting across a table from guy after guy on dates , I found myself wondering, “What am I looking for anyway?” “Will I know it when I see it?” “What are the qualities in a forty plus partner I desire now, and how are they different from when I was younger?” Returning to the dating scene, when you are forty plus and experiencing dating is definitely a time for taking stock of how things have changed. “Take some time to get to know yourself anew before you start dating and when you create your profile
Be curious and introspective about your life and where you are right now. Take note of who is contacting you and be realistic about what you want in a companion and make sure that when you contact members they have similar ideals and goals as you do.
The first few weeks it was a thrill to have people contacting me, and I responded to almost everyone who sent me a message but it was time-consuming, exhausting, and I met some singles who were not my type at all and did not share my values in life.
Over time, I learned to limit my contact to people who sounded patient, with similar goals and desires and knew how to spell. Take your time with dating, there is no rush.
Don’t make the mistake of making complex first date plans. A simple cup of coffee and a chance to chat and get to know each other relieves the pressure and allows you to get to know the person, you have met.
Jane Hughes xx